Five Days Until Chemo?

    I thought yesterday might be a little bit more normal in our house--not so much.  The crazy back-and-forth to doctor's offices trying to schedule procedures to fit in BEFORE the oncologist's target for starting chemo on Tuesday is just about as crazy as you might expect.  Especially because next week is a short week anyway, lots of offices are closed...even under the best circumstances it would be difficult. BUT the oncology center was kicking butt and taking names on our behalf and after going around and around and around (here's John, paperwork spread all over the island, landline and cell phone going, calendar pages, pens, notes--it was a full-on project, believe me), here's where we are:
   Met with my cardio-thoracic oncology surgeon to follow up.  His words, in effect: Are you a lucky woman or what?  Yes, indeedy.  Not only did we move into a more survivable cancer, but this cancer, although rare, is presenting in an even more rare yet MORE FAVORABLE way!  Can that even be possible, you say?  YES!  Where it is usual for a lymphoma to create a tumor, it is also usual for there to be an extensive network of lymph nodes involved in the creation.  It appears at this time (knock on wood/cross fingers, toes/do a dance) that we have an extremely limited number of lymph nodes engaged in this tumor process.  Which makes successful treatment more likely.  Fistbump!!
   My surgeon concurs with the chemo course of treatment, but will follow-up with me after chemo is done to weigh in on necessity of radiation and on whether, if there is remaining tumor, this might be the point to surgically remove it and avoid the damage that radiation will do to my lungs.   So he's still in the loop.
   I had an echocardiogram today. That woman's fingers were flying on that machine--it was impressive to watch her work!  She said for her it's like driving a sports car!  So I got to see my (grainy, black and gray, fuzzy) heart beating away.  And here's the strange thing.  Of course I know that my heart never stops beating--because I'm still here.  We all KNOW our hearts are beating, and maybe if we've exerted ourselves we become aware of our hearts pounding.  But to see it and hear it on that screen just...going.  And going.  Neverstoppingneverstopping.  Made me tired just looking at it!  It was kind of amazing.  Like, "You go, heart!  Awesome!  If I were you, I'd be pooped out, man, but YOU are a rock star, dude!!"  So maybe take a moment to give your heart some props.  Your heart could chew up a marathon and spit it out!  Your heart kicks butt!! (Chest, ribcage, I dunno.)
  Went to Chemo Training today.  Walked out with a head full of information and my very own, super duper Cancer Bag to hold all my medication information.  Um, yeah, we've agreed that I cannot rock that bag. No can do.  Nope.  You know me.  I need to have some swag if I'm doing this, so although I appreciate the free bag (laugh with me now, 'cuz we know it's not free, we'll be paying through the nose as will the insurance), an upgrade must occur prior to hooking up.  'Nuf said.
   So for the med curious:  The protocol here is R-CHOP.  It is the standard for this type of lymphoma.  It's the first line of defense, accepted pretty much across the board.  The letters all stand for medications, and I feel like there should be a song:  "R is for the Really strong cancer poison, C is for the one that makes you upChuck, H is for the one that makes your Hair fall out..."  But I digress.  So anyone can look up R-CHOP and get the breakdown, but here it is in a nutshell:  The R is the super weapon, the one that specifically targets the lymphoma cells.  So it's the smart bomb.  The CHO are the general chemo drugs that just go kill any fast-growing cells.  So I guess they are the heat-seeking missiles.  One of them (don't know if it's C, H, or O) is the "yes, in 99.9% of cases this will indeed make your hair fall out, if not in the first 21 days, slam dunk baldy after the second treatment."  Eyebrows and eyelashes are a wild card.  And P is prednisone, which I just take in pills every day.
   SO...I'm envisioning, by Christmas, a bald, eyebrowless, puffy, bloated steroid me with nervous energy, agitation, trouble sleeping, nausea, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  If I just wear an elf cap I'll look like those elves in the stop-motion Rudolph...except for the one who wants to be a dentist who has that fly blonde 80s hairdo.  It's all good.  If I keep my eyebrows and eyelashes, I'll be ecstatic--another moment of perspective.
   In the wee hours of tomorrow morning I will be getting the bone marrow biopsy--thanks to civilized modern medicine, they do put you out for that procedure now, so I have no worries during and will have a really sore hip afterward.  I confer with another doctor later that morning.  Then Monday afternoon I get a chemo port implanted in my chest...kinda cool and gross at the same time, but infinitely better than a zillion fishing needle sticks...plus they won't actually even give some of the chemo drugs any other way, because if they breached the vein, it's baaaaaad juju for any tissue in its way.  So sign me up for the port!  As John said, "It's imPORTant."  Yes, that's the way we roll here.
   So here's the only sticky situation right now:  the insurance, although it has been approving these tests and procedures, is holding up the actual approval for the chemo.  They want 5-10 business days to issue an approval.  And oncology wants to get this show on the road.  So oncology is calling to advocate, and we have to call and agitate.  Because oncology will not, under any circumstances, begin administering chemo until that approval is given.  So send some mojo to the insurance peeps if you would. 
   I apologize for not getting back to people--have been rushing from place to place, office to office, and we are beat.  So I hope these updates will let you know what's going on, but I also hope you won't feel that I'm slighting you if I'm posting things here sometimes and not texting things out individually.  So if you want to be notified if there is something new posted, feel free to "follow" the blog.  Otherwise, if you text me and I direct you to the blog on a particular day, just know it's a day where I'm wiped out, and please don't take it personally.
   So, at a later date I will take final votes on color of professional sex trade worker wig, and, might I suggest, if someone wants to start a pool on the side to guess the date of Andrea's complete baldness (maybe extra bonus for picking yes/no on eyebrows and eyelashes), well, you could make some extra cash for the holidays.  Disclaimer:  This site in no way encourages or supports gambling, which is illegal, for goodness' sake, yada yada, you're-on-your-own-not-my-fault!
   So I'll have to figure out how to put pictures here for swag bags and hairless future me.  Mwah!