Did I do anything special, like have a cake made in the shape of a mutated B-cell? No. Did I even mark the occasion mentally? No. Give it even the slightest, most cursory and casual fleeting thought? Nope, nope, soap on a rope.
I frankly forgot all about it.
And I think THAT's the most vivid illustration of how well I am doing.
My last PET in February showed that, months after completing chemotherapy and radiation, my tumor/scar tissue has shrunk even more. And perhaps it will show even less of itself on the next scan. Which, by the way, doesn't even have to be a PET. I'm doing so well, with the tumor shrinkage and the numbers in my blood work, that I warrant only a CT scan at the next check. A PET will only be done if something looks hinky on the CT. So I can EAT before my next scan, whoo hoo!
All of this is wonderful news. I am confident that, a year from now, I will be allowed to have my port removed. Because I will never need it again. I know I'm not supposed to used the mighty C-word (no, not that one...not cancer, either..."cured") for 5 clear years but, at the risk of invoking some bad juju, I really do consider myself to be cured, now and for always.
I am enjoying my life and my family and friends. I am better. Stronger. Faster. (Well, okay, maybe not faster.) I feel "new and improved" as far as my daily approach to the world in which I live and the people in it.
My hair is currently an external reflection of my internal joy at being here on the planet.
My Come to Jesus or Diety of Your Choosing Moment: Don't wait for your own mortality to smack you in the face to embrace who you are, to live your life in a way that brings you happiness, and to revel in the moment and in the relationships that nourish your heart. Strive to minimize regret's role in your life, because drastic and sometimes permanent change can come without warning.
I will certainly wave my next all-clear CT scan results all over this blog when next I sign in. Be well, be happy, be your own most fierce medical advocate.
Thrilled that your "anniversary" has been a non-event! So happy things are going well. And I absolutely love the hair! Enjoy!
ReplyDeleteAndrea I didn’t realize you still posted here! Please accept my belated but no less sincere congratulations on the non-eventfullness (we English majors have the authority to coin words deemed illiegitimate by spell checkers, do we not?) of the passage of your milestone. Cam and I saw John tonight at Jeff Burgess’s barbecue and I asked after you; John gave me a preview of your very good news but the photo of your hair is worth a thousand words! You go girl!!!
ReplyDeleteI should mention that your hubby was incredibly generous with his time and advice regarding the training stumbling blocks I’ve had on the Peloton. It seems I’ve been approaching it backwards so I’m going to heed John’s advice and see if I can make my way over the quads-on-fire hurdle! I know for certain that John had more important things to talk about but he graciously mentored me. And geez he’s a beast on his bike! He shared his metrics with me...wow! I’ll never be that strong of a rider but am working to be the best I can be.
I am elated to know that you are honoring your robust health with both inward and outward expressions of celebration. From time to time I have toyed with putting some blue in my hair, just for fun. I’ve been something of a chicken shit about it mostly because I can hear my mother having a cow about it. I should probably get over that!
My best to you, now and always,
Dana
Hello dear! I did not reply, and I meant to, and...I got caught up in life! How are you doing? You sound like you are in inspirational beast mode! I've been working all year on losing weight. Managing about a half a pound a week...certainly not dramatic, but it's getting me there slowly but slowly. I feel like, at this point in my life, I finally have reasonable expectations of the process, and that's the key. I've been going through some weird cancer fear anxiety lately, though, and I really do need to shake it off. I have my next scan in March. I got the flu twice in December, have picked up some other creeping crud while recovering from the second bout of flu, and my legs have been itching a bunch (which was a thing from before that I just thought was a me thing, and it turned out it's a symptom of lymphoma). So I'm kind of roiling around in super paranoia land. I'm trying to get a grip on myself, relax, and just chill until my scan in March. This random wave of anxiety did take me by surprise, though, as I was hoping that I wouldn't be susceptible to that at this stage of the game. Anyway, I am sending you belated hellos and belated kudos for being a rock star! Hope you are well! (And what's going on with your hair? Any blue?) Take care! Andrea
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